Brad Paisley Still Can't Write Songs: A BP Sequel

       Brad Paisley has a new song. It's called River Bank. Which is two words. 
       My long time readers will know why this is relevant. My new readers are most likely confused. On October 14, I published a post called Brad Paisley and the Noun-Songs where I very astutely observed that the country star has a pattern of singing songs with one word title that also happen to be nouns: Ticks, Water, Alcohol, Celebrity, Camouflage and [The] World. Obviously there are many exceptions: Mud on the Tires, Whiskey Lullaby, Waitin' on a Woman and many more. 
       So now River Bank. Yes it's two words but it's one thought; two words that represent one thing; it could be a riverbank or a river bank. It's a song about a singular thought and it's as ridiculous as Alcohol and Ticks. 

[Hook:] 

Well, I won 2 dollars on a scratch-off ticket

So I went back to the counter and I bought 2 more with it

And I won 10 bucks and that was just right

So, I bought a six pack and a bag of ice

[Chorus:] 

You know even if our ship came in and this is all we got

It ain’t like we really need a million dollar yacht, 'cause

We got an inner tube

We got a trailer hitch

We’re near the river and far from rich

But we have got each other and gas in the tank

We’re laughing all the way to the river bank

       For the full experience, a listen is highly suggested. But it's lyrically brutal. To make matters worse, he's listed as a writer. 

       [Donning my ten gallon Paisley hat, clearing my throat] 

I just wanna write a song about the outdoors but obviously it needs to include an alcohol mention, have that middle class feel and, you know, that unite against your boss theme ("I’d go shoot tequila, take a lime and suck it/ And we’d tell our bosses they can do the same"). All in all, I just wanna have a focused point with this one... Nothing too heavy. 

       It's getting old, Brad. You can do so much better.