Brad Paisley and the Noun-Songs

[This is a post that I wrote some time ago but now that I actually have a platform to publish it I am going to take advantage of that. The topic and claim are not groundbreaking, earthshattering, or treecracking. It holds very little importance to most, but it is an observation that has been on mind for quite some time.]

thank you k102.com

      Why is it that so many of Brad Paisley’s songs are about nouns and subsequently named as those nouns? The research is not conclusive but it is enough to raise eyebrows. There’s “Ticks,” “Water,” “Alcohol,” “Celebrity,” “Camouflage,” … see?
       I like Paisley. Therefore this is not an attempt to smear the guy, to commit libel, or to defame him. I do not harbor a grudge against him; “Whiskey Lullaby” (who knew “lullaby” is spelled with an a, not an i?) is a touching song equipped with a simple message and a beautiful duet. But Paisley’s collection of the noun-songs—as I will refer to them—are shallow. I have them on my iPhone and I admit, I do listen to “Alcohol” frequently. It’s catchy. Please read the following:

“Been making the bars lots of big money/ And helping white people dance/ I got you in trouble in high school/ But college, now that was a ball/ You had some of the best times/ You'll never remember with me/ Alcohol/ Alcohol”

       Or perhaps, for a more fulfilling experience listen to it on YouTube here. I imagine it all goes down like this: Paisley is in the recording studio with his producers, whomever is usually in a recording studio, etc. and then of course whoever presents him with the one-word theme ideas for songs.    

Song Theme Presenter: Okay, Brad, how about this? It’ll be called “Horses.” They are on the farm and how their use has changed since being used at horse plows. Or, umm, this one is called “Mechanic” and it’s about the blue collar glory of a garage mechanic. What do you think, Brad?

Paisley: Those sound nice but a bit too deep, you know? I don’t know if they are relatable enough. Anything else? A love story?

Song Theme Presenter: Oh Brad, I know what you mean. How about this one? It will be called “Check You For Ticks” and it’s about a man trying to woo a woman.

Paisley: Yeah, yeah, let’s go with that. It can go like “I can check you for ticks” or “The only thing allowed to crawl all over you is me.” And let’s just call it “Ticks.” I like the ring of that.   

       And so on. According to Wikipedia, Paisley has contributed to the writing of many of the noun-songs—which could mean either of these two extremes: sitting at the table eating Canadian bacon on his pizza pie (“American Saturday Night” reference) while the song is being written by the other names scrawled under the Writers tab on Wikipedia or actually typing it up on his Mac (“Online” reference). I’m not sure which would be better in the case of the great batch of noun-songs. I usually find myself blanketed by disappointment when I find out the singer I’m listening to doesn’t write his own stuff. But right now, I hope that Paisley had very little to do with the writing of the noun-songs.

       Keep in mind, I say this all with the desire to plug in my iPhone and play “Whiskey Lullaby” about seven times in a row. At forty, Paisley is still cranking out Billboard hits year after year. And now I cannot stop replaying the chorus of “Alcohol” on my head. I guess the joke is on me.